“Out of our brokenness make us a blessing. . .”(Judith L. Brutz, 1990)
“Rise radiant in the sacrament of pain” (Thomas Kelly 1939)
I have been thinking and praying on the idea of brokenness lately. When I was at the Young Adult Friends Conference in New Jersey a Friend spoke in meeting, and said that the Religious Society of Friends was broken and it was we who had broken it. Later several Friends encouraged me to view the idea of brokenness not merely as negative, something is broken and we must work to fix it, but as a more positive sensitizing and opening to God. The idea of hearing God and being opened to the Spirit only after one has known great suffering and pain is an idea with very Biblical roots. After much prayer I have come to see brokenness as being broken open to God, having one’s inner walls torn down to experience God’s love and grace, and to be torn from the roots to find freedom in the Lord. As I was praying on brokenness in meeting this Sunday, two things kept coming to me. The first thing was a variation on a line from the prayer I had just written; “let us know suffering so we might find your strength Oh God and ours”. I also continuously kept returning to the image of fire and burning as representing the Holy Spirit. I was reminded of such images as the Holy Spirit as tongues of fire in Acts, the idea of being baptized in fire as representing the Holy Spirit and the line from Thomas “Jesus said ‘I have cast fire upon the world’” (Thomas Saying 10), as well as Paul when he said “where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). Also during meeting I was reminded of a story another Friend at the YAF Conference had told about a group of early Friends who gathered one Sunday only to discover that their Meeting House had been burnt to the ground during the night by people hostile towards Quakers. Instead of going home these Friends chose to worship standing on top of the burnt rubble of what had once been their Meeting House. I am drawn once more to the question of what does it mean that the Religious Society of Friends is broken and it is we who have broken it. I now believe that we have broken ourselves open to the power and grace of the Lord. That we have struggled and suffered and cried out for guidance and have been torn open to Her divine will. We have lit ourselves afire with the power of the Spirit and we are made free. I believe that when the smoke clears we will find ourselves standing among the rubble of that burning, made new in the simplicity of what we truly are a group of people bound together by the expectant waiting and witness of the Lord. And we will know our strength. And we will know God’s.
14 comments:
Anna,
I too was at the yaf gathering and find your reflections enlightening and empowering. Thanks you so much for your words of reflection. I can think of so many examples of where brokeness was a starting point for great power and strength in the bible. Perhaps the most obvious is the crucifixion. Your words carry great weight and I appreciate them highly.
-Nathan Sebens
Thank you for your post.
It takes me to a time in my past when I was an Aircraft commander flying uh-1 Hueys in Vietnam. As such I was supposed to be training or teaching the co-pilot how to survive in a hostile enviroment without killing me or destroying the aircraft.
When I was a peter pilot (co-pilot) the aircraft commanders were brutal. They would ripp the controls out of my hands yelling "what the **** you doing, trying to kill me, that approach is way to hot(fast)",or steep", or what ever the imagined problem was. They would be yelling and I would be trying to figure out what they were talking about. Sometimes I would know that the approach was a little hot or steep but felt that it was very much in control, I would be making corrective actions when the controls were jerked away.
I vowed that I would do a better job when it became my turn and I tried. The problem was that after a time you knew what was going to happen. You got up in the morning strapped the helicopter on and it became an extension of your body. Flying in formation you had to keep one eye on the ship you were flying off, the other on the rest of the formation and your third eye on your own aircraft. I guess I should also mention that there were three radios on that had to be monitered and a fourth for music, which was not often listened to while flying formation.
This flying wasn't much of a problem for a seasoned pilot, but you couldn't read the mind of your co-pilot, is he going to slow down?, dose he know that we are heavy and this isn't a real powerful ship?
How far do I dare let him go? I have to let him go far enough for him to know that he is making a mistake, but not far enough that I can't recover from it. It's a troublesome call.
I may have gotten long, I think that I'm trying to say a person has to see that there is a problem before a solution is looked for. A person needs courage to speak up when they see a problem starting it's a lot easier to fix a small problem or get make a small correction than wait.
I think it's wonderful that you can see brokenness as an openning. I see what is going on in Quaker circles as a sort of siftting and winnowing. We must listen and discern to the best of our abillities.
Again, thank you for your preception of brokeness, I will try to be more preceptive and try to listen more lovingly.
Peace
GMC
Thank you both for your comments.
Nathan, thank you so much for your post, I am touched by your response.
GMC thank you also for your response I have thought much on it, though I'm not use I completely understand the point you were trying to make. I will continue to ponder it and hopefully will be enlightened.
Peace and Joy,
Anna.
This post moved me to tears. I've been struggling physically for the past couple of weeks and have been feeling very distanced from God, which has been distressing me...
I often feel like I don't have the energy to be close to God when I'm not feeling well. Your post has made me see "not feeling well" in a whole new light.
Thank you.
Anna, what a beautiful post. It is a strange paradox to think that brokenness/suffering and openness/healing are such close cousins of each other.
Blessings,
Liz Opp, The Good Raised Up
GMClark's experience in training piolets seems relevent to Eldering ministers. One must be in intamint touch with the mechanism being guided. One must allow those in training the leeway for experience. One must speak out before things get too off course.
Very good post, Anna. You speak my mind, Friend.
God's peace,
Craig
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