While reading over the notes on the last meeting of New York Yearly Meeting’s Task Group on FUM I was struck by a seemingly simple, yet vastly important question. In the notes it was stated that a Friend asked the question, what is FUM doing for us? as in New York Yearly Meeting. I found myself drawn to that question and like a massages coming in Meeting an answer came upon me and I found myself writing it.
If FUM has not given us anything else it has brought us to this place and this point. It has moved us as a Yearly Meeting to the point here we sit here, having this conversation, discussing these issues, asking these questions. I know, we all know, that is it one thing to say we all have a place at the table, we all come as servants to the feet of Christ, we are all equal in the eyes of God and the movements of the Spirit. Yet it is so much harder to live this, truly believe this. As Friends though we have to Know this, we have to know that when we say there is a place for you at the table of God, we do not then raise our hands and push some away. We are members of the Kingdom of Heaven we must know that when we say we are all equal in the eyes of God what we say is Truth and not just pretty words. I know that there will be a time when we can say God is with our Friends who struggle in Kenya, with our Friends who worship in Indiana, with our Friends all across New York, with our LGBTQ Friends. Yet I believe we are not there yet, I am not there yet, but we are on that path and we are moving forward. Through our relationship with FUM we have come to this place where we as a body tern our hearts and eyes to God and say now the time has come, for us to listen, for us to speak, for us to change. And that, I feel, is a gift indeed.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
The Strength to Go Into the Wilderness
“I have been asked many times
to take leaps I did not feel ready to do.
But when I’ve done that I’ve been held
And I have been an agent for God
In ways I never could have been
If I didn’t trust and take that leap.”
- Jean-Marie P. Barch 1998.
Who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to God “My refuge and my fortress; my God in whom I trust.” For God will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilences; God will cover you with pinions and under God’s wings you will find refuge. – Psalm 91:1-4.
About a week ago I attended FGC’s FLGBTQC Mid-Winter Gathering. While there we were asked to consider several queries every day in our small group worship sharing. One of these queries was something along the lines of, “How do we tell the difference between acts of love and acts of fear?” In my worship sharing I felt moved to speak about this query and then again during worship. As the Spirit usually does I started out focusing on the query and then was led to speak to deeper questions. When considering the difference between acts of love and acts of fear I am led to believe that Friends generally have a hard time distinguishing between the two. Maybe not on a personal level, but as a group we tend to see praise as coming from a place of love and criticize more need for change as coming from a place of fear. In my own experience among Friends I have not found this to be the case. Instead, I have often found that we want to hear praise and only praise about our meetings and the Religious Society of Friends because we are afraid of what might happen if we begin to take criticism seriously and move to change the way things are. Often I have found praise alone comes from a place of fear of change, a fear that we will make things worse or break things beyond repair. Whereas often I have found those who offer criticism and ask for change are doing so out of love, love for their faith and a need that that faith should live up to what they know it is capable of being.
I have been moved to think that there is another image and another question behind this concept of acts of love and acts of fear. I am then called to the image of the wilderness as expressed many times in the Bible and the concept of Blessed Community. I believe that if we are truly a Blessed Community under God, guided by the Spirit, then we should have enough trust and love for each other that will allow us to know what cannot break what was not meant to be broken. I believe that when we act with love and faith in God and in each other we can never make things worse, only better. If some things break, or change, we must have faith that this is what God has meant to happen and all things will be made right and whole in the end. We as a community must not be afraid to go out into the wilderness. We must trust in one another, in ourselves that we might wander, and suffer, and it might be hard and our faith might be tested but in the end we will come out a community, whole and faithful. This ability to go out into the wilderness is not just an act of faith in one another but an act of faith in God. We must believe that God loves us enough that we can go into the dark, into the wilderness, to do things that we are afraid of doing, and God will bring us home. I believe that we are never truly lost, and that God will always bring us home, but we as a religious community must also believe this.
I gave this message in Meeting for Worship on Sunday. After Meeting I attended a Bible study session. The Friend who was leading the session told us the story of how she came to choose the passage we were going to read. She said she had written everything out after being told she was going to lead Bible study at the conference, but then one Firstday she had been sitting in Meeting and had gotten a leading for us to read Genesis 16 in Bible study. She said she had no idea why the Spirit was leading her to this passage but she trusted in the Spirit and changed her plans for the Bible study. Genesis 16 is the story of Hagar, who is a slave to Sarai, and conceives a child by Abram. She then looks with contempt on her mistress who cannot conceive, so Sarai deals harshly with her and Hagar runs away into the wilderness. There she sees an Angel of the Lord who tells her she will have a son and what to name him. Hagar then realizes she is talking to the Lord and names him El-roi or literally “God who sees.” She is the only Old Testament figure that I know of to directly name God. The fact that we were called to read a passage about a slave girl gone into the wilderness who sees and names God, after the messages I was called to give, I do not see as a coincidence. Neither do I see the fact that both of these messages were given at Mid-Winter Gathering as a coincidence. To me the Lord is clearly trying to tell the LGBTQ Friends community something, and I now struggle to discern for myself what it is. What wilderness we are being called to travel into? Are we as a community being called to see and be seen by God, name and be named? As of now I do not have answers that satisfy me, but I trust that in time God will lead us to the Truth.
to take leaps I did not feel ready to do.
But when I’ve done that I’ve been held
And I have been an agent for God
In ways I never could have been
If I didn’t trust and take that leap.”
- Jean-Marie P. Barch 1998.
Who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to God “My refuge and my fortress; my God in whom I trust.” For God will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilences; God will cover you with pinions and under God’s wings you will find refuge. – Psalm 91:1-4.
About a week ago I attended FGC’s FLGBTQC Mid-Winter Gathering. While there we were asked to consider several queries every day in our small group worship sharing. One of these queries was something along the lines of, “How do we tell the difference between acts of love and acts of fear?” In my worship sharing I felt moved to speak about this query and then again during worship. As the Spirit usually does I started out focusing on the query and then was led to speak to deeper questions. When considering the difference between acts of love and acts of fear I am led to believe that Friends generally have a hard time distinguishing between the two. Maybe not on a personal level, but as a group we tend to see praise as coming from a place of love and criticize more need for change as coming from a place of fear. In my own experience among Friends I have not found this to be the case. Instead, I have often found that we want to hear praise and only praise about our meetings and the Religious Society of Friends because we are afraid of what might happen if we begin to take criticism seriously and move to change the way things are. Often I have found praise alone comes from a place of fear of change, a fear that we will make things worse or break things beyond repair. Whereas often I have found those who offer criticism and ask for change are doing so out of love, love for their faith and a need that that faith should live up to what they know it is capable of being.
I have been moved to think that there is another image and another question behind this concept of acts of love and acts of fear. I am then called to the image of the wilderness as expressed many times in the Bible and the concept of Blessed Community. I believe that if we are truly a Blessed Community under God, guided by the Spirit, then we should have enough trust and love for each other that will allow us to know what cannot break what was not meant to be broken. I believe that when we act with love and faith in God and in each other we can never make things worse, only better. If some things break, or change, we must have faith that this is what God has meant to happen and all things will be made right and whole in the end. We as a community must not be afraid to go out into the wilderness. We must trust in one another, in ourselves that we might wander, and suffer, and it might be hard and our faith might be tested but in the end we will come out a community, whole and faithful. This ability to go out into the wilderness is not just an act of faith in one another but an act of faith in God. We must believe that God loves us enough that we can go into the dark, into the wilderness, to do things that we are afraid of doing, and God will bring us home. I believe that we are never truly lost, and that God will always bring us home, but we as a religious community must also believe this.
I gave this message in Meeting for Worship on Sunday. After Meeting I attended a Bible study session. The Friend who was leading the session told us the story of how she came to choose the passage we were going to read. She said she had written everything out after being told she was going to lead Bible study at the conference, but then one Firstday she had been sitting in Meeting and had gotten a leading for us to read Genesis 16 in Bible study. She said she had no idea why the Spirit was leading her to this passage but she trusted in the Spirit and changed her plans for the Bible study. Genesis 16 is the story of Hagar, who is a slave to Sarai, and conceives a child by Abram. She then looks with contempt on her mistress who cannot conceive, so Sarai deals harshly with her and Hagar runs away into the wilderness. There she sees an Angel of the Lord who tells her she will have a son and what to name him. Hagar then realizes she is talking to the Lord and names him El-roi or literally “God who sees.” She is the only Old Testament figure that I know of to directly name God. The fact that we were called to read a passage about a slave girl gone into the wilderness who sees and names God, after the messages I was called to give, I do not see as a coincidence. Neither do I see the fact that both of these messages were given at Mid-Winter Gathering as a coincidence. To me the Lord is clearly trying to tell the LGBTQ Friends community something, and I now struggle to discern for myself what it is. What wilderness we are being called to travel into? Are we as a community being called to see and be seen by God, name and be named? As of now I do not have answers that satisfy me, but I trust that in time God will lead us to the Truth.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
God Constantly Waiting
“Knock and the door will be opened for you” (Matthew 7:7)
Several months ago I went through clearness for a call to ministry through writing. I had felt strongly for several months before this that the writing I was doing on different subjects within Quakerism was Spirit led. However after going through clearness I stopped writing. I could and did sit in front of my computer while no words came. Part of my mind was concerned by this, but other parts brushed it aside, I was and still am looking for an Elder to help me with discernment about my writing. I was also overwhelmingly busy with school and work and so it was easy for me just to let my writing or lack of it slide to the back of my life. However last weekend I attended the FGC traveling ministries consultation in Pittsburg PA. While in meeting for worship on Friday night I received a strong sensation of a voice speaking to me. It said, “I have given you words but know it is time for you to listen.” Almost immediately afterwards a Friend rose and spoke of the things in our life we use as excuses for not following through with what God is leading us to do. Then another Friend spoke saying that we as gospel ministers need to not be afraid of taking risks and being wrong, trusting that our community will catch us when we fell. Later that weekend another Friend spoke of how it can feel as if God gives you a feeling that there is something She wants you to do then leaves you waiting for directions and how frustrating that can be. As she spoke I through that yes, this reminded me a lot of what had happened to me about my writing, as I thought this I had the physical sensation of turning around and there was a door held open.
I realized that God had not abandoned me and my writing, but I had been so set on expecting it to proceed in a certain way I had been blinded to God’s actual plan. I had been looking for the Spirit in all the wrong places. I have come to believe that God never simply leaves us just hanging as it were. Instead God is always there waiting just not always in the places we expect. Often we become so set in an idea that we will find God by doing this or in this place that we actually stop listening to all the hints and messages God is sending us. I know in my life sometimes it takes a while of fumbling around and missed opportunities on my part before I finial in my human imperfection realizing what it is I am being asked to do. It is also so easy for us to procrastinate to let other things eat up our time and take away our energy. What I always try to remember though is that God is always there, holding the door open patiently waiting for us to turn around.
Several months ago I went through clearness for a call to ministry through writing. I had felt strongly for several months before this that the writing I was doing on different subjects within Quakerism was Spirit led. However after going through clearness I stopped writing. I could and did sit in front of my computer while no words came. Part of my mind was concerned by this, but other parts brushed it aside, I was and still am looking for an Elder to help me with discernment about my writing. I was also overwhelmingly busy with school and work and so it was easy for me just to let my writing or lack of it slide to the back of my life. However last weekend I attended the FGC traveling ministries consultation in Pittsburg PA. While in meeting for worship on Friday night I received a strong sensation of a voice speaking to me. It said, “I have given you words but know it is time for you to listen.” Almost immediately afterwards a Friend rose and spoke of the things in our life we use as excuses for not following through with what God is leading us to do. Then another Friend spoke saying that we as gospel ministers need to not be afraid of taking risks and being wrong, trusting that our community will catch us when we fell. Later that weekend another Friend spoke of how it can feel as if God gives you a feeling that there is something She wants you to do then leaves you waiting for directions and how frustrating that can be. As she spoke I through that yes, this reminded me a lot of what had happened to me about my writing, as I thought this I had the physical sensation of turning around and there was a door held open.
I realized that God had not abandoned me and my writing, but I had been so set on expecting it to proceed in a certain way I had been blinded to God’s actual plan. I had been looking for the Spirit in all the wrong places. I have come to believe that God never simply leaves us just hanging as it were. Instead God is always there waiting just not always in the places we expect. Often we become so set in an idea that we will find God by doing this or in this place that we actually stop listening to all the hints and messages God is sending us. I know in my life sometimes it takes a while of fumbling around and missed opportunities on my part before I finial in my human imperfection realizing what it is I am being asked to do. It is also so easy for us to procrastinate to let other things eat up our time and take away our energy. What I always try to remember though is that God is always there, holding the door open patiently waiting for us to turn around.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Out of the Silence There is a Voice Calling
“We have a long, long way to go. So let us hasten along the road, the roads of human tenderness and generosity. Groping, we may find one another’s hands in the dark.” (Emily Greene Balch, 1955)
I can’t remember the first time I came into contact with the controversy surrounding FUM and the Yearly Meetings who are duel affiliated with FUM and FGC. I do come from one of those Meeting, New York Yearly Meeting, and my monthly meeting, although unprogramed, has close personal ties to Farmington Meeting one of the programmed meeting under NY Yearly Meeting. I also go to Earlham College, in Richmond IN, and although I attend an unprogramed worship group, I am surrounded by FUM affiliated meetings and Friends.
I know I must have thought about it, even written about it, but I did not really sit with it until attending New York Yearly Meeting sessions this summer. There I heard people speak from many different perspectives on the question of our duel affiliation with FUM and FGC. I did not at that time feel called to speak on the subject although I did talk with Friends about it, and prayed intensely on the subject. I have sat with these issues for months now and spoken with even more Friends on the subject. I do believe that we are all one in the body of Christ and the body of the Church under God. I also believe that God is calling us to address these issues raised by our relationship with FUM now. Over and over again I have felt that we are called to address our differences among Friends both within our own monthly meetings and Yearly Meetings and between FGC and FUM. I do believe that instead of drawing away from each other, such as the question of NYYM breaking it’s affiliation with FUM, we are called to move closer, to engage in prayer and dialogue with one another. I also believe we need to move forward in our work within our Yearly Meetings on issues of inter-dialogue and inclusiveness.
During New York Yearly Meeting sessions and the conversations I have had with Friends, I have heard mainly two different opinions on the subject of NY Yearly Meetings and other dual affiliated Yearly Meetings. First I have heard many people speak out against our continued relationship with FUM. This opinion is often based on FUM’s policies and stances on the LGBTQ community, on the literal interpretation of the Bible, and on their over all Christ centered theology and worship. I am myself a Christ centered Friend, however I do not believe in the literal truth of the Bible. I am also a Queer identifying Friend and FUM’s attitude towards the LGBTQ community does concern and sadden me. Yet I feel that often the opinions that have been expressed to me about the need to cut our connection with FUM have come from a place of anger, grief and pain. Although I too feel, understand, and struggle with this anger, grief and pain as well I feel very strongly that we cannot act from such a place. Not only is it not a place of Spirit, but also it is a place that too often blinds us to what is good about our relationships with others not like ourselves, and also blinds us to the areas where we as Yearly Meetings are lacking and need to grow.
Another attitude I have encountered, is that we must not break our duel affiliation with FUM at any cost. I am not sure about the extent to which these Friends mean that we should go to retain our affiliation but I personally am just as uncomfortable with this stance as I am saying we must have nothing to do with FUM. I wish us to think deeply, guided always by the Spirit, about us, in dual affiliated meetings, relationship with FUM. I feel we should delve deeply in to what the Spirit is calling us to do within our own Yearly Meeting as well. I feel that we in NYYM are far from answering the questions surrounding our affiliation with FUM, and in the end I hope the Spirit leads us to see our way to remaining part of this organization. However I want our relationship with FUM to be meaningful and fruitful one, with us all united within the body of Christ. I do not wish us to remain affiliated simply because we have been in the past or simply for the sake of being so, but because the relationship is fruitful and nurturing for all of us. I know we as a Yearly Meeting body are beginning to grapple with these issues in all faithfulness under God and with the leading of the Spirit. This issue I feel is something we all must pray on and grapple within every Monthly Meeting, and Quarterly Meeting for this is an issue which concerns us all. I pray we all act in love and faithfulness.
During meeting for worship I spoke on the topic of the Church as a body and how I felt the body of the Religious Society of Friends was a broken or jumbled body, but that Christ was coming moving among us to heal us. I spoke that soon would come a time when God would tell us “you are healed, stand up and walk” and we as a body will stand whole and healed anew. The time Friends is coming for us to stand and walk.
I can’t remember the first time I came into contact with the controversy surrounding FUM and the Yearly Meetings who are duel affiliated with FUM and FGC. I do come from one of those Meeting, New York Yearly Meeting, and my monthly meeting, although unprogramed, has close personal ties to Farmington Meeting one of the programmed meeting under NY Yearly Meeting. I also go to Earlham College, in Richmond IN, and although I attend an unprogramed worship group, I am surrounded by FUM affiliated meetings and Friends.
I know I must have thought about it, even written about it, but I did not really sit with it until attending New York Yearly Meeting sessions this summer. There I heard people speak from many different perspectives on the question of our duel affiliation with FUM and FGC. I did not at that time feel called to speak on the subject although I did talk with Friends about it, and prayed intensely on the subject. I have sat with these issues for months now and spoken with even more Friends on the subject. I do believe that we are all one in the body of Christ and the body of the Church under God. I also believe that God is calling us to address these issues raised by our relationship with FUM now. Over and over again I have felt that we are called to address our differences among Friends both within our own monthly meetings and Yearly Meetings and between FGC and FUM. I do believe that instead of drawing away from each other, such as the question of NYYM breaking it’s affiliation with FUM, we are called to move closer, to engage in prayer and dialogue with one another. I also believe we need to move forward in our work within our Yearly Meetings on issues of inter-dialogue and inclusiveness.
During New York Yearly Meeting sessions and the conversations I have had with Friends, I have heard mainly two different opinions on the subject of NY Yearly Meetings and other dual affiliated Yearly Meetings. First I have heard many people speak out against our continued relationship with FUM. This opinion is often based on FUM’s policies and stances on the LGBTQ community, on the literal interpretation of the Bible, and on their over all Christ centered theology and worship. I am myself a Christ centered Friend, however I do not believe in the literal truth of the Bible. I am also a Queer identifying Friend and FUM’s attitude towards the LGBTQ community does concern and sadden me. Yet I feel that often the opinions that have been expressed to me about the need to cut our connection with FUM have come from a place of anger, grief and pain. Although I too feel, understand, and struggle with this anger, grief and pain as well I feel very strongly that we cannot act from such a place. Not only is it not a place of Spirit, but also it is a place that too often blinds us to what is good about our relationships with others not like ourselves, and also blinds us to the areas where we as Yearly Meetings are lacking and need to grow.
Another attitude I have encountered, is that we must not break our duel affiliation with FUM at any cost. I am not sure about the extent to which these Friends mean that we should go to retain our affiliation but I personally am just as uncomfortable with this stance as I am saying we must have nothing to do with FUM. I wish us to think deeply, guided always by the Spirit, about us, in dual affiliated meetings, relationship with FUM. I feel we should delve deeply in to what the Spirit is calling us to do within our own Yearly Meeting as well. I feel that we in NYYM are far from answering the questions surrounding our affiliation with FUM, and in the end I hope the Spirit leads us to see our way to remaining part of this organization. However I want our relationship with FUM to be meaningful and fruitful one, with us all united within the body of Christ. I do not wish us to remain affiliated simply because we have been in the past or simply for the sake of being so, but because the relationship is fruitful and nurturing for all of us. I know we as a Yearly Meeting body are beginning to grapple with these issues in all faithfulness under God and with the leading of the Spirit. This issue I feel is something we all must pray on and grapple within every Monthly Meeting, and Quarterly Meeting for this is an issue which concerns us all. I pray we all act in love and faithfulness.
During meeting for worship I spoke on the topic of the Church as a body and how I felt the body of the Religious Society of Friends was a broken or jumbled body, but that Christ was coming moving among us to heal us. I spoke that soon would come a time when God would tell us “you are healed, stand up and walk” and we as a body will stand whole and healed anew. The time Friends is coming for us to stand and walk.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
In the Hands of the Lord: A Message from the first days of NY Yearly Meeting
On Sunday NY Yearly Meeting convened to begin our weeklong session. While sitting in Meeting on Sunday at the opening Meeting for worship this message came to me. I was drawn to give special thanks to those who work for NY Yearly Meeting full time and for every other Quaker organization in the country. I am reminded that for me it is a particularly scary concept to dedicate ones entire life and time to God’s calling. I, who am plagued by doubts and questions about what it is God calls me to do within the Religious Society of Friends, have a hard time imagining a calling so strong that one would give up other options of jobs and life styles to dedicate themselves to the workings of our religious society and community. I personally always wonder and worry if I chose a life focused entirely on my religious community my other gifts and my other callings to work in other communities would be lost. On the other hand I sometimes wonder if I hide behind other things I do, as a way of escaping what God is calling me to do, because it scares me.
I thank God that there are people with the strength, wisdom and courage to make that choice to become “full-time Quakers” as it where. Yet I remind myself that God’s callings are often frightening and not easy. Religion especially Quakerism is not easy and often frightening. Too often I think we let ourselves think of Quakerism as an easy safe thing. We sometimes forget that in its demand that we all open ourselves to God and dedicate every facet of our lives to Her grace and glory, Quakerism is the very antithesis of safe and easy.
My prayer for myself and NY Yearly Meeting would be that we do not loose sight of the fact that ours is a strong, rich, powerful, living, demanding, frightening, enlightening and beautiful faith. We must not be afraid of doing what is hard or spiritually frightening. God often calls us to move out of the space we feel comfortable and walk a hard and sometimes dangerous road. I hope that we all listen for, discern and except our leadings as God gives them to us, no matter what they might be. Even if they scare us. Let us all be open to the Spirit, to move among us. Make us a vessel of Your light and Your will. We must trust that God loves us, watches over us and will not lead us astray. No matter how huge a jump God seems to be requiring of us, She is always there protecting us and making sure we come down where we need to be. We must trust God knows the path, even if we don’t, and that is the most frightening thing of all, and also the most joyful and beautiful.
I am reminded of a passage from Paul. Paul new what it meant to be called by God to do what he thought he could not do. When God called Paul, God called him to go against everything he had previously believed, everything he had been taught, everything he valued, everything he defined himself as, everything his community and his family defined themselves as. God called Paul to do what he had previously believed would be impossible for him to do. Paul knew the power of the Spirit of God, and knew how it can shape, reshape and set afire your life when you surrender to it. Paul writes in Second Corinthians 3:17 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom” and I believe that. I believe that.
I thank God that there are people with the strength, wisdom and courage to make that choice to become “full-time Quakers” as it where. Yet I remind myself that God’s callings are often frightening and not easy. Religion especially Quakerism is not easy and often frightening. Too often I think we let ourselves think of Quakerism as an easy safe thing. We sometimes forget that in its demand that we all open ourselves to God and dedicate every facet of our lives to Her grace and glory, Quakerism is the very antithesis of safe and easy.
My prayer for myself and NY Yearly Meeting would be that we do not loose sight of the fact that ours is a strong, rich, powerful, living, demanding, frightening, enlightening and beautiful faith. We must not be afraid of doing what is hard or spiritually frightening. God often calls us to move out of the space we feel comfortable and walk a hard and sometimes dangerous road. I hope that we all listen for, discern and except our leadings as God gives them to us, no matter what they might be. Even if they scare us. Let us all be open to the Spirit, to move among us. Make us a vessel of Your light and Your will. We must trust that God loves us, watches over us and will not lead us astray. No matter how huge a jump God seems to be requiring of us, She is always there protecting us and making sure we come down where we need to be. We must trust God knows the path, even if we don’t, and that is the most frightening thing of all, and also the most joyful and beautiful.
I am reminded of a passage from Paul. Paul new what it meant to be called by God to do what he thought he could not do. When God called Paul, God called him to go against everything he had previously believed, everything he had been taught, everything he valued, everything he defined himself as, everything his community and his family defined themselves as. God called Paul to do what he had previously believed would be impossible for him to do. Paul knew the power of the Spirit of God, and knew how it can shape, reshape and set afire your life when you surrender to it. Paul writes in Second Corinthians 3:17 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom” and I believe that. I believe that.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
standing by for the spirit
Hopefully I will post something soon. I have been gone to NY Yearly Meeting for the last week. Also between my experience at Yearly Meeting and going through Clearness I am grappling with some things about my writing and the nature of my writing. Therefore I probably won’t post until I have reached some clearness about some things. I also will not be posting as often on this blog in the future. However I hope for my posts to be more Spirit led if not as frequent.
Peace and Joy,
Anna.
Peace and Joy,
Anna.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
A Liberal Christian Young Adult Friend
For the last two years I have divided my time between Indiana and New York State. I attend four different Meetings all with very different and unique qualities. Yet I cannot help noticing the overall difference between being a young adult Friend in Richmond, Indiana and being a young adult Friend in New York. In some ways I am very much like most young Friends in New York Yearly Meeting. I attend college. I am politically very liberal and socially live an alternative life style. I identify as a queer woman, am against the war in Iraq, and care about the environment. However, unlike most young adult Friends in New York Yearly Meeting I also consider myself a Christian.
When I am in Indiana, Christian Quakerism is the norm. While worshiping with students from Earlham School of Religion, I have grown comfortable in assuming that every Friend there is, like me, Christian and deeply religious. Therefore our conversations can move on to tackle the hard questions of specific pieces of theology and Quaker practice. When I am in NY however the truth is, conversations with young Friends will probably never get past the fact that I am Christian. Even more unfortunately I have found young and young adult Friends to be openly hostile towards me because I am Christian. I have been told over and over again by young adult Friends that Quakers are not Christian, that we have moved beyond such backwards ways, that all Christians are closed-minded, that it makes them uncomfortable to be around Christians. Over and over again I have been asked to explain why I could possibly want to be Christian? How I
could possibly be both Christian and Quaker, Christian and queer, or liberal and Christian?
More uncomfortably for me, many young Friends just assume that there is no
such thing as a liberal Christian Friend, and therefore feel free to make fun of other Christian denominations while in a group of Friends, to tell insulting jokes about Jesus and other Christian figures, or to complain about how horrible Evangelical Friends are, largely because they are Christian. The assumption has been made over and over again that the only reason I could possibly be Christian is because I was raised that way. This is in fact untrue because although I was raised a Friend, I was neither particularly religious, nor Christian for many years, considering myself first atheist then agnostic. In fact it
has only been within the last three years that I have considered myself Christian. Yet in the last three years I have been nothing but happy with my decision and the faith that I have found.
There are many days when I feel out of place in the liberal branch of Quakerism. I realize that, what are vital and exciting questions of Quaker practice and theology for me, would be found confusing, uninteresting and in some case even insulting to many liberal Friends. Over and over again I have thought that my philosophy and outlook on Quakerism much more reflected the Conservative rather then the Liberal branch. Yet no matter how hard I want to run to a Conservative Yearly Meeting and have done with Liberal Quakerism, I stay. Partly because I was raised a Liberal Friend, more importantly however is the fact that I am a Liberal Friend. Liberal Quakerism prides its self upon being open and accepting. It stresses learning about and from others. Therefore, I
challenge it to do just that. As many times as people tell me I'm not really a Liberal Friend or Liberal Quakerism is not really Christian I challenge then to think that maybe I can be right, or maybe the liberal branch is not as open and welcoming as it seem.
Furthermore although I truly believe that Liberal Quakerism has much to offer, the time has come for change. Liberal Quakerism is losing its vitality and strength. It needs to be revitalized, to re-embrace practices and traditions it has left behind. We need to change and rediscover ways of being Quaker that might frighten and challenge many Liberal Friends.
When I am in Indiana, Christian Quakerism is the norm. While worshiping with students from Earlham School of Religion, I have grown comfortable in assuming that every Friend there is, like me, Christian and deeply religious. Therefore our conversations can move on to tackle the hard questions of specific pieces of theology and Quaker practice. When I am in NY however the truth is, conversations with young Friends will probably never get past the fact that I am Christian. Even more unfortunately I have found young and young adult Friends to be openly hostile towards me because I am Christian. I have been told over and over again by young adult Friends that Quakers are not Christian, that we have moved beyond such backwards ways, that all Christians are closed-minded, that it makes them uncomfortable to be around Christians. Over and over again I have been asked to explain why I could possibly want to be Christian? How I
could possibly be both Christian and Quaker, Christian and queer, or liberal and Christian?
More uncomfortably for me, many young Friends just assume that there is no
such thing as a liberal Christian Friend, and therefore feel free to make fun of other Christian denominations while in a group of Friends, to tell insulting jokes about Jesus and other Christian figures, or to complain about how horrible Evangelical Friends are, largely because they are Christian. The assumption has been made over and over again that the only reason I could possibly be Christian is because I was raised that way. This is in fact untrue because although I was raised a Friend, I was neither particularly religious, nor Christian for many years, considering myself first atheist then agnostic. In fact it
has only been within the last three years that I have considered myself Christian. Yet in the last three years I have been nothing but happy with my decision and the faith that I have found.
There are many days when I feel out of place in the liberal branch of Quakerism. I realize that, what are vital and exciting questions of Quaker practice and theology for me, would be found confusing, uninteresting and in some case even insulting to many liberal Friends. Over and over again I have thought that my philosophy and outlook on Quakerism much more reflected the Conservative rather then the Liberal branch. Yet no matter how hard I want to run to a Conservative Yearly Meeting and have done with Liberal Quakerism, I stay. Partly because I was raised a Liberal Friend, more importantly however is the fact that I am a Liberal Friend. Liberal Quakerism prides its self upon being open and accepting. It stresses learning about and from others. Therefore, I
challenge it to do just that. As many times as people tell me I'm not really a Liberal Friend or Liberal Quakerism is not really Christian I challenge then to think that maybe I can be right, or maybe the liberal branch is not as open and welcoming as it seem.
Furthermore although I truly believe that Liberal Quakerism has much to offer, the time has come for change. Liberal Quakerism is losing its vitality and strength. It needs to be revitalized, to re-embrace practices and traditions it has left behind. We need to change and rediscover ways of being Quaker that might frighten and challenge many Liberal Friends.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)